Saturday, August 27, 2016

Confessions of a Guy Blogger ~ A Guest Post

Today we have Jonathan from Fishing for Ideas. Not only is he a ninja guy blogger, he's also a friend and quite hilarious. You're all in for a treat. Without further ado: Jonathan! *cue applause*

(Note to the readers of Abi’s blog: this is only the second time I’ve done a guest post before, so it is no fault of hers if I end up bombing this post. So do not unfollow her as she will return as soon as I untie her because obviously I hijacked her blog MWAHAHA I’m done with my rambling.)


Anyhow, shall we begin? (Yes that was rhetorical because I’m beginning no matter what you answer.)


Today we’re discussing GUY BLOGGERS. Yes, those strange creatures with blue and green and brown blogs that float conspicuously through the crowd of girl bloggers with pink and purple and red blogs.


Yup. We’re on the same page now, aren’t we? (also rhetorical; don’t answer that)


There’s a certain amount of mystery about these finicky creatures; a certain amount of wondering. What do these mysterious bloggers use as motivation? Why do they blog? Are all of them agreed on the fact that Pinterest is feminine? WHY DO THEY NOT USE A PINK OR PURPLE BLOG TEMPLATE?


Well my friends, you’re in luck, because I happen to be a guy blogger.


*gasps from the crowd*


No, you did not already know that from the title of this post. If you did then my dramatic effect is ruined and I refuse to accept the fact that my dramatic effect is ruined. Hence you did not already know that. (Don’t question me, I know these things. Also I can hypnotize people and I don’t want to have to do that to you.)


Anyhow. Random sidenote there.


ON TO THE ACTUAL POST


Today I present to you….


Notice the spine, since he claimed he was an alien in Camp ;)


Well. After that introduction I don’t even really need to write a post, do I?


(YUP YOU CALLED IT RHETORICAL AGAIN)


Buuuut I guess since I went to all this trouble to hijack Abi I should actually contribute something substantial.


Alright. Here goes. Brace yourself for the amount of epicness here. Also just a quick disclaimer before we begin: neither Abi or I are responsible if you are completely blown away and have a mental breakdown and need a few days of recovery. Just to clear that up here and now.


(fyi this is where I actually offer semi-helpful/structured information instead of just rambling so pay attention class)


SECRET #1: THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE A SEMI-SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF FOLLOWERS IS BECAUSE WE STICK OUT. SHH.


Because apparently we stick out. We’re basically just the ducks paddling through a pond 85% full of swans.  And while normally you wouldn’t want to stick out, in the blogiverse, it just means more publicity. And more publicity = followers. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BLOGGING SKILLS.  (Ok so maybe that helps a little? But that’s not relevant so moving on.)


SECRET #2: WE’RE PROBABLY NOT ALL AS TECHY AS WE SEEM, EVEN IF WE HAVE NERD GLASSES.


While some of us are extremely techy, this definitely IS NOT a general rule. Not all guys are super into computers and tech things. Of course those of us who are super techy are the ones who never have problems with their blog. (*cough*notme*cough*). So if the dude’s blog is imploding, he probably broke his blog html so give him a break. (DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT THIS MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME) If his blog looks gorgeous and you’ve never heard a reference to any problems whatsoever, he’s got this tech thing in the bag.


SECRET #4: SOMETIMES WE DON’T READ EVERY POST FROM EVERY BLOG WE SUBSCRIBE TO.


But let’s be real, guys. NOBODY DOES. LIKE WHO EVEN HAS TIME FOR THAT? So this point probably shouldn’t even be here because it’s more of a general blogging secret, not just something that applies to guys. Don’t tell anyone I let the cat out of the bag and I won’t have to hypnotize you, ok?


SECRET #5: WE ONLY KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING ABOUT HALF THE TIME. OTHER THAN THAT, WE JUST WING IT.

I would give more details on this but basically this post is a perfect example in and of itself. You’re welcome.


SECRET #6: FANGUYS ARE ACTUALLY A VALID THING. SURPRISE, SURPRISE.


I KNOW. ALL THIS TIME YOU THOUGH THERE WAS ONLY FANGIRLS. *pops that bubble* Yes, fanguys are definitely a thing. Although we definitely don’t have the numbers that fangirls do. Basically though this just gives what we say more weight. FEEL OUR POWER MWAHAHAHA.


SECRET #7: OUR SECRET IDENTITY = WAFFLE-ADORING DRAGONS. JUST SO YOU KNOW.


#SHOCKVALUE. HA I GOT YOU FOR A SECOND DIDN’T I?  Because I’m actually just kidding. Maybe.


SECRET #8: SOMETIMES WE ARE DEVIOUS AND WE SKIP REASONS. JUST TO SEE IF WE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.


WE’RE BRILLIANT MASTERMINDS, WHAT CAN I SAY? We don’t always employ this tactic though. Just sometimes. But hey, if you realized there was a missing reason, kudos to you. I applaud your skills.


Of course, now that I told you all of this, the secret society of guy bloggers will have to send an assassin after me. The same assassin will probably come after you also, now that you have this secret information in your mind. HEAD FOR THE HILLS.


But hey, before they find you, you might as well find out everything you’ve wanted to know about guy bloggers. Anything you want to know? Ask me in the comments! Also, what’s your biggest blogging confession?


About the Author:


Jonathan Trout is a 17 year old homeschooler who loves Jesus, laughing, writing, and reading. He has a tendency to be mildly whimsical, and he’s definitely a ninja. His one weakness is sour patch, and he probably shouldn’t tell you that, but most everyone knows it anyways. Occasionally he writes about himself in third person. The best place to stalk him at is his blog, but be warned because he will probably stalk you back.

Ask Jonathan anything you can think of and then follow his blog!!!

41 comments:

  1. This was awesome! I follow...maybe two guy bloggers...no one...no two...I DON'T KNOW IT'S HARD TO oh yeah one ok. I've read more blogs, but I only legit follow one. They're pretty funny, and different.

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    1. ONLY ONE? BUT WHYYYYYY. (actually *cough* you're off the hook here because I only follow two others one of which hardly ever posts so XP)

      Delete
  2. THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME ON YOUR BLOG IT WAS FUN! (also the spine of that book literally made me laugh out loud XP)

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    1. THANK YOU AND YOU'RE SO WELCOME I LOVED IT!! (I mean of course I did, no work! XD)

      Yay, I love making people laugh! I needed blank space for your suuuuuper long title *glares disapprovingly* It popped up on Pinterest *cough cough* and I couldn't pass it up after that XD

      And obviously this whole guest post thing was great for your fame because look at how much people loved it! And I've gained Toby Pior as a follower, so I'll claim that as my payment for hosting you ;) (I WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU IN FOLLOWERS!!)

      *ahem* Thanks for doing this, it was completely awesome! XD (Not that I expected less, before you comment on that ;) )

      Delete
    2. *flicks Pinterest off into cyberspace* XP

      HA KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MOOOOOOOOORE MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

      Delete
  3. Dude you weren't supposed to tell people about the waffles.
    Now we can't hoard them all in the great waffle mountains of the south.

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    1. SHUSH CATS DON'T LIKE WAFFLES ANYWHO. XD

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  4. Pshhh, NO REASON GUYS CAN'T BE BLOGGERS TOO. Although admittedly there are a lot fewer of them than gals.

    Haha, I loved the list! :D What a fun post.

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    1. Ha thanks I've always said the same thing. XP Yes very true! :)

      Haha thanks! Glad you enjoyed :D

      Delete
  5. Interesting... Also pshh. Who told you everyone doesn't read all their posts?I only follow one guy blogger. So...I don't know, man.

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    1. Hahaha I SEE THROUGH THAT. XP Ooh ha you should find more. (although we are a scarce tribe XD)

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  6. Hahaha! Great post! I honestly didn't realize guy bloggers were such a rarity! I mean, I knew girls did it more often but I follow several guy blogs. Of course, most are published authors/posting content that teaches something. And I don't read all their posts but I don't read all of anyone's posts. Well, I'm off to stalk...er, I mean follow, now.

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    1. Thanks! Oh haha it's more obvious when you are one. :P Yup saaaaame. XD Ha you can call it what it is I'm a ninja remember? :P

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  7. HAHAHA. Jonathan, I cannot express how much duller my life would be without you XD I am so grateful that I got to spend camp with you twice.

    ANYWAY, DONE WITH THE SAPPY STUFF. Omw, that SPINE. That carries a different meaning for your cabinmates XP But yeah, I pretty much only know two or three guys bloggers, you included.

    Speaking of guy bloggers, did your bro decide to start a blog, or no? (AND YES, I TOTALLY JUST RHYMED, WITHOUT EVEN MEANING TO)

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    1. Aw well thanks glad I could bring a spark to someone! :) I'm glad we got to be in camp together also. :D

      IKRRRR I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. XP Yup, same. Actually today I thought of another one that I sort of kind of am acquainted with? (aka he commented on my blog once. XP) So I think that makes four... maybe...

      Lol no... he's thinking about but I think he might wait until he's a little bit older. :)
      (HAHA YES YOU DID)

      Delete
  8. THIS POST. Hahaha, love it. Oh yeah, totally blown away. Let me get up off the floor. *eyeroll*

    85%? I'm thinking more like 90–95%. I only know like 4 guy bloggers and oodles of gals. ;)
    HOORAY FOR NERD GLASSES. *cough* Okay, actually I don't have any. But my friend does and I'm like "oh, I love your glasses! Gimme!!" Unfortunately her 'bad eye' and my 'bad eye' aren't the same, so THAT'S not happening. >_<
    (You skipped #3.)
    SAAAAAAME. I used to try to read and comment on every. single. post. But it just doesn't happen anymore. It's like, wham!, real life hit. :P
    Hey, I have too heard of fanguys! I totally knew it was a thing. I'm ahead of this game. Okay, question here, do fanguys ship?

    Biggest blogging confession? Hmm... I don't know what I'm doing? I never have. I just act like it. Surprise of surprises, most of the time it works. XD Now be the nice guy and go untie Abi... B-)

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    1. HA THANKS. *swooping bow* *helps you up off the floor* :P

      Hmm ok yeah that could be true. XD
      IKRRRR I DO AND THEY'RE SO GREAT. Ah well you just have to get your own! :P
      (Ha yes I know I did. *evil laugh*)
      Yeeesss especially the commenting part it's so haaaard. :P
      Ooh you have? Great job. *high fives* XD Um ok sometimes on rare occasions? We take more pleasure in SINKING EVERY SINGLE ONE THOUGH MWAHAHAHA.

      Haaaaaa shhh don't tell but same for me for the most part. :P Ok fiiiine I guess now that I'm done bahahaha. XP

      Delete
  9. Ooh a guest post! Fun! I really enjoyed reading it, Jonathan. Honestly, I never really noticed until recently the lack of guy bloggers in the blogosphere; the first blog I ever read\followed was written by a guy. :)

    Please please please don't hypnotize anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just read a book in which someone hypnotized a girl and basically locked up all her happy memories. Eeek! I may or may not be a bit wary of hypnotist. XD

    I like secret #2. And let's make the point that not all girls are tech illiterate. Let's just stop the guy\girl stereotypes. ;)

    Fun post Jonathan, you have a very unique writing style. :)

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    1. Well thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :) Haha it's more noticeable when you are one. ;)

      Haaaa lol duly noted. XP I shall make a mental note to make no hypnositions (totally a word) for the time being. (as long as no one questions me. :P) Don't worry though, if I do resort to that, it won't be that bad at all. :P

      Yesss it's so true. :D

      Why thank you!

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  10. NERD GLASSES!!!! They are so cool. I don't wear mine as often as I should--contacts have the higher ground, especially when it comes to sparring in TaeKwonDo. It just plain hurts to get smacked in the face by a wayward fist when wearing glasses. (Okay, it hurts even without glasses, but...)

    Great post, Jonathan! I was actually wondering about fanguys earlier this week--my brother was asking about them. :)

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    1. YES IKR THEY ARE. XD Ooh ouch yes I feel your pain! Not that I've ever been hit in the face during TaeKwonDo or something like that, but I have had my share of getting whacked in the face before. :P

      Thank you! :D

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  11. This is so sososososo funny! I've alway wondered about guy bloggers. (and now I know all your secrets! *cackles evilly* ) (also I'm a twin too *hi-fives* (what no I'd never stalk your blog jonathon no way I don't do that stuff )) For the record, though, my blog is red and orang not pink and purple. And I think none of us know what we're doing most of the time, let's be quite honest. And you are clearly very devious and filled with guile :P

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    1. Bahaha well thank you! (psshhttt nah I only told you the less deep/dark secrets obviously) (ooh twins cool) (pftt of course you don't stalk I don't either. never. nuh-uh. I refuse to confess.) *promptly stalks you* I MEAN WAIT NO* promptly presses link* Ooh yes you're right you're blog is red and orange I applaud you. (although granted the design is definitely far from masculine :P) Too true, too true.

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  12. "...Girl bloggers with pink and purple and red blogs..." I PROTEST!!!!!! My blog is NOT pink, purple OR red, I'll have you know!!! *sees my story blog's background* Oh... *cough* *goes and changes the background*
    Other than THAT small disagreement, I have to say most of the secrets you shared with us I had deductively figured out. Yes, I sometimes use logic. Don't die from the shock.
    Dude, WAFFLES AGIAN?!?!! I thought we were past that.
    Annnd, I have to say, you're right about nerd glasses and that not meaning one is techy. *sighs* It's a problem. I think maybe those who WEAR nerdy glasses are the ones who lack techiness, but wish to appear techy to the blogging public. *cough* Just a theory.

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    1. Psshhtt but Rebekah you change your blog design like every few months. SO IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THOSE COLORS AT ONE POINT. :P Ha, sure you did. *defiantly dies from shock*
      I WILL NEVER BE PAST WAFFLES.
      Ikrrrr? I think I would maybe agree with that partially but not completely because if I agreed completely that would sound like a confession. And I am confessing nothing more.

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  13. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE SO FEW GUY BLOGGERS. LIKE, WHY?? I know you and one other dude blog person. That's... not very many. (wait, actually I know three. BUT ONE'S AN ADULT SO THAT BARELY COUNTS I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUNG BLOGGERS HERE. xD)

    So, props to you. Because your blog is awesome and deserves allll the attention. *nodnod* :P

    // katie grace
    a writer's faith

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    1. I FEEL YOUR PAIN BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF US EVEN THOUGH THAT SOUNDS SUPER EGOTISTICAL. XP Ha, so two. Not all that bad. (AH OK I THINK I KNOW THAT DUDE ACTUALLY. XD)

      Aw well thanks glad you like it! :)

      Delete
  14. I had to read back to see that number three was missing. And I certainly don't read every blog post. But my blog is most green and I really can't think of many pink or purple blogs out there. This is actually stereotyping girls bloggers as well.
    I think there is one area that guys do tend to blog in a lot. The business world. But I mostly ignore the business world. But guys certainly are less common among Christian teens.

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    1. HA GOTCHA. :P Lool well don't worry I won't tell anyone. ;) Ooh that's right your blog is green, kudos to you! :P
      Aahhh hmm ok I'll take your world for it. (Because *cough* I also do ignore the business world so I wouldn't know XP)

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  15. Let us establish now that Jonathan is a world-champion commenter. Seriously, look at what long comments he's drawn out of all of you!!! And his replies! *dies laughing* I'm going to have to step up my game o.O

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  16. That was an amazing blog post Jonathan! I am literally going to your blog right now and following it! You will be the first guy blogger that I follow, I thought guy bloggers were extinct! XD Great hair btw! HAHAHA!


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    1. AW WELL THANKS SO MUCH! Here, have a stuffed panda. XP Ooh really, cool beans. Ha well we're most definitely not extinct, we're just lurking in the shadows waiting until we can take over the world. (*cough* bonus secret there, no charge for that. you're welcome XP)

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  17. That was an amazing blog post Jonathan! I am literally going to your blog right now and following it! You will be the first guy blogger that I follow, I thought guy bloggers were extinct! XD Great hair btw! HAHAHA!


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    1. *squints at this comment because it looks a lot like the last one* :P :P (ha, I did the same thing once XD)

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  18. Oh, I loved this post! And my blog isn't pink, purple or red. ;)
    And yeah, about #4 . . . WHY DID YOU TELL EVERYONE?! *sighs* I used to read and comment on every blog I followed every time they posted, but it was ridiculous how much time it took.
    Still . . . you didn't have to tell everyone!!
    Oh, and random question . . . are most guys agreed that pinterest is feminine? if so, it might account for the lack of guys I've seen on there. xD

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    1. Ha, well thanks! Ah true... but you changed it recently. IT COULD HAVE BEEN PINK BEFORE THAT. (although I don't recall... XP)
      IKRRRR IT TAKES FOREVER. XP Well sorry I spilled the beans I shall go hide in my box of shame now. :P
      Um well idk... maybe? Personally that's my opinion but certain people *cough* are bent on changing that. XD

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  19. *cough*numberthreewasmissingandyoudidntevennoticethefirsttime*cough* :P
    This is an awesome post, Jonny. :D

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    1. *cough*shushifixeditsortof*cough* XP
      Ha thanks. :)

      Delete
  20. Haha! This was fun ;)

    FANGUYS ARE A THING?! WHAAAAAAA?! Yay. I'm glad.

    I should probably find more guy bloggers :P

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    1. Ha, thanks!

      YUP INDEED. XD

      Ha yes that's a good idea. :P

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